It’s time for a new adventure, for a new path, and new painting…with it’s own set of obstacles, goals, and rewards. I am not sure where this new journey will take me but I am excited, scared, and nervous for what my future holds. Yes, I am closing a chapter of my life that has helped mold me into the individual I am today and as hard as closing this door this is…it is the right thing to do.
I have worked at my place of employment for a little over 4 years now. I even worked here during my graduate studies for two years, left for a year, and found my way back to the position I currently hold. I hold this place near and dear to my heart. This decision was heart wrenching for me to make, but I do feel that it is ultimately the best decision for the institution and for myself. I will miss many things about my current position and I will miss who I once was.
The fact of the matter is that I am not who I was. I am new, I have changed. My heart has softened and I cannot hide the fact that it is difficult to get up everyday and come to work constantly distracted. I do not know what my purpose is and the more I think about my purpose or what I want out of life, the more I realize it is not my current position. I have no plan…something that is completely new to me. I have never not had a plan. But there is a small fire, a fire that burns within my soul telling me that this is my new path. That not knowing is okay and that everything will work out exactly the way it is meant to in its own beautiful time.
I am lucky enough to have a supportive husband, family and friends who will support and praise this life altering decision I have made. I have not yet shared this with many of you, and did so because this was a decision that I had to make. I had to choose what was best for me. Though I always appreciate everyone’s advise I hope that no one is upset that I did not speak to them about my decision. I want you to understand that this was personal and that I needed to face the music all on my own. Once again I’ll state how lucky I am. How lucky it is that I had this option. I am truly blessed.
I will officially start my new journey the beginning of May. I am staring at my blank canvas and I am dreaming about all of the possibilities that could be. I am bringing with me all that I have learned, all that I was, and all that I am now. One door is closing…but oh so many more are now opening. What door will I choose? What will I paint on my canvas? Time will tell.
As stated by a close friend, “life is fleeting.” Jackie has given me courage. Courage to change, courage to know that it is okay to start over, courage that it is okay to not have a plan, and courage to embrace the new me.
I ask for your words of encouragement, a wish for good luck. What lies ahead is unknown…and oh how beautiful that can be.