I can see the wave building on the horizon again as we approach the 4 month mark. I still have not fully recovered from my emotions that I felt on Easter Sunday and with the approaching date of April 21st I have felt on edge all week. The edge of tears, the edge of sadness, the edge of the darkness that lingers during these difficult times. I have already requested the day off from work and have made plans to see two individuals that I have been wanting to spend time with for months now. One is another heart mom who lost her son as well…she gets it. The other is a close friend of mine who is currently pregnant and has already been warned that it will be a trying day for me…but I still want to see her, I still want to spend time with her growing belly and talk about all the things we have not yet been able to do. I know that like month 3, this too will be a hard day. A day full of what-ifs, what will never be-s, and the ever dreaded hurt, the pain that makes your entire body numb, that is felt during these milestones.
I see the wave and I am preparing myself to the best of my abilities.
We love you Bear and Jackie!
#chdawareness #angelmommy #mysoniswatching #ourjackofhearts