20. DISTANCE
Distance…distance between Jackie and I. There are days when I feel like all I need to do is drive to Cardinal Glennon and he will still be there in his room. There are days when I feel like he is with me, especially on days when he sends me hearts…then there are days when he feels forever away. On those days I question my faith and I question whether or not I will ever be with him again. This distance I feel at times is hard to feel, it’s an ache that you feel in your entire body.
Other Mom’s understand the connection that is formed in the womb…and this connection to your child begins as soon as you see those two pink lines. A relationship is formed that a Dad unfortunately will never understand…a bond…a connection. It is honestly hard to put into words what it’s actually like…but other mom’s will understand. It is this very connection that sometimes makes Jackie feel so distant while other times he is so near. They say the heart knows no distance…and maybe that is exactly what I am talking about. My mind says you are not here…but my heart says otherwise.
I will, for the rest of my life, exist in two places. Here…and where you are. I will constantly search for messages from you…for I long to be near you every single day…I long for this distance between us to lessen …I long to touch your nose and to kiss your cheeks. I long for a day when we can be together again and this distance between us will no longer exist.
We love you!
#mayweallheal #mwah2017 #angelmommy