Our family and friends hosted a fundraiser for us on Saturday 5.20. So many individuals had reached out wanting to help us…so our closest family and friends decided to plan a fundraiser to allow everyone to get together and to pay tribute to Jackie while also helping us to raise money for our out-of-pocket cost. We have been extremely blessed with the help of grants, payment plans, and insurance…and now we can say that our family and friends have raised enough money to cover our remaining out-of-pocket cost, as long as there are no additional bills coming our way! We are beyond relieved…what a weight that has been lifted. I cannot thank everyone enough. We had around 140 individuals come together and celebrate Jackie’s life. It was a night of music, fried chicken, a hot venue, dancing, smiling…and all around was a fun evening.
My sister-in-law was kind enough to be our MC for the evening and even provided a thank you to all that had come when I could not find the strength to speak in front of everyone. She shared a brief summary of Jackie’s life and his journey in the NICU…I had to walk out…I broke down as she began to speak about the “Quarters to Pee”. It only took a few seconds for my mind to take me right back to that moment…I was living it all over again…and I had to go outside to collect my thoughts, cry, and to be comforted by a friend. I pulled myself together and made my way back inside as I wanted to be apart of that moment…as hard as it was…I wanted to be there. I walked back in and found my Dad, he put his arms around me. He gave me his I’m about to break down grin…and I said to him, “we got this.” He told me, “Don’t break down on me lady…I’m barely holding together.” I smiled my, don’t worry grin.
It was then that the singer from the band took the microphone from my sister-in-law and he told his story of when he arrived that evening…he was greeted by a smiling young lady that introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Ashley. Who are you?” He learned later that this smiling young lady was me, that I was the mother of Jackie…whom his band was there to support. He spoke of me as if he had known me…I was moved by his assessment of who I am as a person…I also realized that even in spite of this disaster I have managed to keep the essence of my “smiley” personality alive. He even called me smiley…the ironic thing about this evaluation is that my license plate in high school said smiley on it…it was a nickname that I received from my softball team and has been a nickname that many still use to this day. I have been thinking about his words for days now.
The entire event was filled with love and laughter. I enjoyed spending time with everyone and I am sure that Jackie was looking down smiling upon all of us. I received a letter from a family member that stated that there is a place for Jackie in this crazy fun-loving family…and oh how true that is. I received other notes from cousin’s that wish they could hug him…wish they could’ve met him. He will continue to be celebrated, to be remembered…he lived and he will live on. This family is large and so very carrying. I wish so often that everyone could have met him, that they didn’t just have to watch videos or look at pictures…I wish they could have shared in the moments that we had with him. But how very moving it is to see the love they have for him, even though they never physically met him.
I am hopeful that in the near future we will be able to form a foundation in his name. This fundraiser may have been more about us but I hope in the future that we can help others…that we can keep Jackie’s legacy alive and to help others just as we have been helped and supported. My dream will hopefully become a reality. I don’t know what this life holds for us…and though the ride has been bumpy to say the least, I am glad that we got on…we will continue to hold on tight and ride our ride. We will remain hopeful that the future holds exactly what was expected for us in this lifetime…we may not always agree with what comes our way but we can be hopeful that it is all for a bigger purpose and that maybe one day we will see the result.
I want to extend a very HUGE THANK YOU to everyone. Everyone that has supported us, loved us, and saw us through…you continually make our strength possible. With your help the stress of the financial burden that remained after Jackie’s passing can now be paid in full. We can close this chapter of the story and now focus on others. We are grateful, blessed, humbled, and honored to call you family and friends. You have our whole hearts. Thank you a hundred times over.
We love you Jackie!
#ourjackofhearts #mysoniswatching