24. FRAGILE
Fragile is how I would describe my emotional state this week. I am constantly on the edge of tears everyday even though I choose every morning to have a good day. Just choosing to have a good day doesn’t always work out. There are so many triggers that I have yet to learn about that instantly bring me to tears, make me angry, or completely change the course of my day. I never know how I am going to react to any situation anymore. Every conversation could end in laughter, tears, or just plain sadness…you never know what you are going to get (I have referenced this before).
My biggest goal is that I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to walk around on egg shells around me. I don’t want them to watch what they say, or watch how they say it. And yet…the truth is…I am fragile. I am fragile, I know I am fragile…and I don’t want that to stop anyone from saying what they want to say or to feel like they have to protect me, soften the blow of bad news, or avoid me all together. I know that this is a difficult for everyone, not just me. I realize that others surrounding me know that I am fragile as well, especially my close family and friends. I guess what I want to say is that…I don’t want you to feel bad…don’t feel bad for us…don’t feel bad if you speak to me and I start crying…don’t feel bad. For those of you close to us, we are in this together…none of us know what we are actually supposed to be doing or feeling…I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be soft on us…on me.
I feel like I am talking circles today (probably because I have a lot on my mind) and I hope I am making sense…Yes, I am fragile…but even a flower can grow between two pieces of concrete.
You love you!
#mayweallheal #mwah2017 #angelmommy