After my recent blog regarding jealousy, anger, and judgement I have had a few conversations with other Moms…whom after reading my blog reached out regarding their guilt. This is not the first time that I have had these conversations. I have had many conversations with others regarding this same topic. Because of the consistency regarding this topic I felt it an opportune time to share with my readers this subject.
While some of us are undergoing the experience of pain and loss to an extreme level…others are finding parenthood to be “easy”…I use this term loosely mind you. There are couples who are facing miscarriages, still-births, infant loss, and infertility…while others simply get pregnant, have their babies, and carry on with life’s roller coaster. While those of us like myself are experiencing feelings of jealousy, anger, and judgement toward these other families whom seem to have control over life…some of these families are feeling guilt for their own happiness. While I sit in anger toward their seemingly perfect life…they feel guilt because they have something that us wounded families don’t have. Why does one family get to snuggle their baby while another does not ? Why does one women get to grow life in their womb while another cannot? Why?
My first feeling I have when this topic is brought to my attention is compassion. I feel compassionate about humanity…I feel a sense of togetherness. Even though these families do not completely understand what us wounded families feel, they are open to listen, open to hear our cries…and to also let us know that they too face another side to what infertility, miscarriage, infant loss, and still births bring to them. While they watch their family members and friends suffer…they suffer too.
My response to this topic is always the same. I am grateful for their willingness to share…I let them know that they are not alone in their feelings…and I remind them of the great blessing that has been bestowed upon them. All we can really know is that everything happens for a reason…we may never know why…and that is okay. Everyone experiences pain and heartache in some capacity…everyone is fighting some battle that no-one is aware of or maybe they are struggling for all to see…either way struggles in life can be large and they can be small but they are all still struggles.
If you are a family that is feeling guilt for your own bundle of joy because of another’s pain please know that you are not alone in that. Also know that you do not need to feel this way…even the wounded like myself still have a life to be grateful for even if we have to live it without our babies. I am a firm believer that we all have a purpose and that everything does happen for a reason.
We love you Bear and Jackie!
#ourjackofhearts #angelmommy #mysoniswatching