It’s a strange feeling within when you have no idea what is next. I was just telling my husband the other day that I feel as if we are in a room that has many doors…I am standing there with him…and we are trying to figure out which door to open and walk through.
Keep in mind we are not giving up! Do not allow this post to persuade you otherwise. We simply just do not know what our next step/s is/are. Every time we move forward we are pushed right back down, so why wouldn’t we take some time to analyze the situation and maybe try a different approach? Seems like the logical thing to do.
Up until this time we have naturally conceived…three times! But regardless of the beautiful Angels we have been creating we still don’t have kiddos to raise. We recently decided to reach out to a fertility clinic. I know what you are thinking, “but Ashley you aren’t struggling to get pregnant…and you have already had one pregnancy to term.” And you’re absolutely right…we have, however put yourself in our shoes for just a moment…wouldn’t you be ready to get some professional guidance after two miscarriages and one infant loss? Maybe you wouldn’t be…but we are.
Medically when it comes to congenital heart defects and genetic abnormalities all related to Jackie I am up to speed…after that…no idea. I watched a Netflix documentary called “One More Shot” about a couple and their journey through infertility. It’s worth a watch if you have any interest in what couples face once they are diagnosed with infertility. Be sure to grab your tissues because it a tear-jerker. One of the things that I took away from this documentary was just how much I do not know about pregnancy. Sure I know about basal body temperature, luteal phase, follicular phase, temperature shift…aka all things Kindara (the app I use to track my cycles) but there is a whole world of medical terminology and information that I know nothing of. I would prefer to not know because that would mean that I was too busy raising my kids and enjoying their beautiful faces but here we are. Just to give you an idea of what we are up against…here is a list of 18 ways to get make a baby! 18?!?!?!
- Natural sex
- Artificial insemination—of mother with father’s sperm
- Artificial insemination—of mother with donor sperm
- Artificial insemination—with egg and sperm donors, using surrogate mother
- In vitro fertilization (IVF)—using egg and sperm of parents
- IVF—with Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI)
- IVF—with frozen embryos
- IVF—with Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD)
- IVF—with egg donor
- IVF—with sperm donor
- IVF—with egg and sperm donor
- IVF—with surrogate using parents’ egg and sperm
- IVF—with surrogate and egg donor
- IVF—with surrogate and sperm donor
- IVF—with surrogate using her egg, sperm from baby’s father
- IVF—with surrogate using egg and sperm donors*
- Cytoplasmic transfer**
- Nuclear transfer and cloning
Sarah Holt produced the NOVA program “18 Ways to Make a Baby.”
Ever heard of embryo adoption? We hadn’t either. Jack and I have had countless conversations within a short amount of time of options that we are aware of and we even have started some research online about some options we weren’t aware of. All of which lead us to one final outcome…we still had no idea what to do next.
So after looking into adoption and all things related to making a baby we have decided to meet with an experienced medical team to pick their brains and see what they think. Ultimately the final decision will be ours to make but having a few different opinions doesn’t seem like a bad idea right now. It feels right…a step…a small step…but a step nonetheless in “our direction.” I say our direction instead of the right direction because there is no right way about this…it’s about us…our life…our journey…our direction.
We have our appointment scheduled for February 14th, Valentine’s Day ironically enough.
Just as I always have, I will continue to share our journey…Wish us luck.
We love you Bear, Jackie, and Peanut!
#angelmommy #ourkidsarewatching #ourjackofhearts