We officially removed our Christmas tree from our home. For me this tree was a symbol of joy. We cut it down with my parents the weekend after we discovered we were pregnant and it was proudly displayed ever since. I had even thought about decorating it with hearts and leaving it up till March. It took me sometime to realize why I was clinging to our tree and why I didn’t want to remove it from our home. That tree was joy because it was a symbol of Peanut. Peanut blessed us during our most difficult month of grief. Revived my love and spirit for the Christmas holiday and allowed us to experience peace and hope.
As Jackie continues to bless our family in miraculous ways our miscarriages seem fleeting. Here today…gone tomorrow. I struggle to save a piece of them to carry with me for always. Just as I was stating in my last post, Jackie is more tangible…Bear and Peanut are an idea…a spark…two pink lines that faded as quickly as they appeared. I have so many wonderful items to commemorate Jackie and though I have things to honor our miscarriages for some reason it just never seems enough. I love all three just the same but I always find myself thinking of Jackie more. It is a struggle that I am sure I will face for the rest of my life.
We love you Bear, Jackie, and Peanut!
#angelmommy #ourkidsarewatching #ourjackofhearts