I have something on my mind that I just need to talk about. Yesterday a fellow classmate of mine passed away after giving birth to her third child. I don’t have a lot of information besides that there were complications after the birth of her son which landed her in the ICU fighting for her life. We never really stayed close throughout the years but every now and again I would run into her. My most recent run-in was at Target…she was with her two kiddos at the checkout line and pregnant with her third. We shared hellos and parted ways.
I remember thinking how lucky she was and how beautiful her kids are. I was envious of what she had. I didn’t know if there were struggles in her life, I assumed there were in some shape or form but I honestly just thought…I wish my kids were here too. Now here I am months later at my computer screen scrolling through Facebook reading beautiful tribute posts about her life and just how much she will be missed.
I spoke with my Husband and a few fellow friends last night regarding her passing. I kept repeating how unfair life is. No one is immune from pain, suffering, or hardship. It is literally all around us and we cannot escape it. A fellow bereaved mama stated to me, “the whys are so overwhelming”…and she couldn’t have painted a better picture of what I was feeling. Why do these things happen?
I spoke with my Mom this morning…as I slowly eased into the news she immediately asked what happened to her baby boy that she had given birth to. Rightfully so, my family is accustomed to automatically assuming something happened with the baby. She was speechless on the other end of phone and stated that she was not expecting that at all. We exchanged further thoughts, memories, and we shared just how awful we felt for her family. Once again I kept repeating how unfair life is.
4. GRACE
As I allow myself to feel the pain and sadness of this tragic event I found a few statements about grace that I felt aligned with my feelings today about the passing of my classmate and her family.
“Grace is the warmth in your heart that gives you courage.”
“Grace is freedom to question everything and the freedom to know that not all questions have answers.”
“Like a special gift, grace is gratitude for Here and Now, the precious present.”
Love your loved ones with all your heart. Take the time to tell them you love them and live each day as if it were your very last. Because we are never promised tomorrow.
We love you Bear, Jackie, and Peanut!
#MayWeAllHeal #mwah2018 #shareyourstory #ourjackofhearts #angelmommy #ourkidsarewatching
To my classmates family,
No amount of words could take away the pain you are experiencing right now. You are on my mind and I will think of you often. I will cherish the memories I hold in my heart that I shared with my beloved classmate. “It’s hard to forget someone who gave us so much to remember.”
With love,
Ashley
Beautifully written Ashley. Here is another definition of grace for you – Grace is the ability to suffer loss without becoming bitter. Love to all.