I first want to start out by saying thank you. Thank you for all being so patient and allowing my Husband and I time to ride our roller coaster. Thank you for understanding why I would be writing but not posting these blogs during our first IUI treatment cycle. Though our journey is not normal it has allowed us to feel some sense of normalcy. If you recall April 3rd was my last post and we were anxiously awaiting the arrive of Aunt Flo that I expected in around 2-4 weeks so that we could begin our treatment cycle. As anticipated and expected we hit a few bumps along the way.
Over the next few weeks I will be sharing with you my writings leading up to and during our very first treatment cycle with Vios Fertility Clinic.
April 7, 2018
I knew that my excitement would at some point be faced with my nerves, I was just hoping it wouldn’t happen so soon. I am doing my best to cling to my excitement…my positivity that was so pure and beautiful…but it is slowly slipping away…as if someone is pulling on the other side of a rope and I am losing my grip as the length of the rope shortens.
On Thursday April 5th Aunt Flo unexpectedly arrived in a slow manner. It was the afternoon and I was surprised by spotting. I contacted Vios for direction. My nurse contacted me and said that we would hold off until the flow increased. Again, to my surprise my flow increased later that evening. I contacted my nurse in the morning on Friday for direction once more. How could my period be here already? Is this real? Maybe it’s just from the Saline Ultrasound? It’s only been about three weeks since my last period? Is this a real period or just from the birth control? If I hadn’t been on birth control my period wouldn’t be here for another week. Maybe it’s a fake, it has to be fake…right? What is going on with my body? So many questions bounced around in my mind as I awaited to hear back from Vios.
I was contacted in the afternoon on Friday and I set up my baseline blood work for Monday April 9th! What!, is this real? Could we really be starting our treatment cycle already? Are we ready? Am I ready? Oh this is so great! Oh this is so scary! Oh my gosh…oh my gosh!
I received my news while I was at work and I couldn’t hold my happiness back…but in the back of my mind the anxiousness and questions were continuing to build.
I’m convinced at this time, that being of Saturday April 7th, that my nervousness is solely due to the fact that I am questioning the arrival of my period. I literally do not understand her timing. My last cycle began March 13th and I started birth control on March 19th so that I could have my Saline Ultrasound when we returned from Florida. How is she already here? This can’t be real…But even as I type…I am still flowing…?!?!?! I can’t even get myself to toggle my Kindara app to a new cycle…that is how mentally confused and anxious I am. I don’t think I will fully be able to accept this event until I see Vios on Monday. I need confirmation, I need direction, I need guidance, I need them.
We love you Bear, Jackie, Peanut!
#ourjackofhearts #angelmommy #IUI