May 9th
Morning Of
The day is here…well one of them! We get to do this all over again tomorrow morning! A double IUI transfer! Jack is already at the clinic and I am sitting here just collecting my thoughts as I prepare to drive to the clinic for my IUI transfer appointment at 9am! All the waiting…all the nerves…everything has lead up to these two mornings. How many morning can you call out to your husband as he walks out the door, “Make good swimmers…I love you!”?!?!
When I arrive for my appointment Jack’s swimmers will have been “cleaned” and they will be placed inside my uterus (turkey basting as I call it) by our trusted and beloved nurse that has been with us since the beginning of this journey with Vios.
I am oh so very hopeful! I am positive! I feel like this is it for us, that this is our time…I just feel it in my bones. But…but…there is always that other voice inside of me telling me to not get overly worked up, don’t get too excited that when it doesn’t happen the let down tears me to pieces. We have a really good chance and that is all that matters. I have chosen to live in the moment and right now the moment is happy and positive. Oh please oh please oh please…deep breath…please (tears running down my cheeks now…) another deep breath. Okay….time to go…we got this.
Afterwards
That was rough. On two accounts.
While I anxiously awaited my appointment another couple came in with their very sweet little girl. Some days are just so emotional that I cannot handle the pain that a beautiful family brings me. I was texting with friends:
“I may lose my shit! A family just came into the waiting room with their little girl and I’m just not feeling it today! I feel myself getting upset. It’s such an emotional day and here I am sitting listening to them talk to her about animals. Going to the pets store to see birds. And she is just talking talking talking in her cute sweet voice. I just want this so bad! Fighting back the tears! I can do this! I can do this!”
Our nurse used a speculum, just as they would during your Pap smear. Unlike your Pap smear test they are very specific on how the device needs to be in your vagina. They want to place the swimmers directly into your cervix therefore they have to find the opening. My cervix was unfortunately tipped down toward my rear. Our nurse tried numerous times and even switched speculum from a short thick one to a longer skinner one. Needless to say I felt many pinches and the procedure was painful for me. After a few minutes of fighting with my cervix our nurse had Dr. Cooper come in to perform the procedure. Dr. Cooper performed it with ease as the nurse stated she would. Dr. Cooper told the swimmers to “swim” and said “swim Nemo swim!” … I told her that if this results in a pregnancy I will be nick-naming the kiddo Nemo.
They were able to place 6 million swimmers however they said that was below average. They like to place around 10 million so they will be having Jack do a double collection tomorrow. 7am and 8am. I will be going in at 9am for the transfer.
May 10th
Morning Of
Day two…I am nervous today. Nervous because yesterdays experience was not the most pleasant. I honestly did not expect the procedure to be as painful as it was. My game plan is to keep my bladder as full as I can up until the procedure and I am giving our nurse a maximum of three tries before I ask her to go and get Dr. Cooper.
Afterwards
I got to see Jack just as I was leaving for the clinic. He said that things went smoothly for him with his double collection…he was just not sure how many more swimmers they would receive within an hour of each other. Poor guy…he had quite the morning. I think my nerves were getting the best of me in the waiting room…I kept having to pee! Luckily I had to wait a long while for the lab to get the swimmer ready so I had time to drink some water and refill my bladder. Just as I was needing to pee again our nurse came and got me and said it was time. I was ready. OWIE! Even with the smaller longer speculum my poor insides were being pinched as our nurse dug around to find my cervix that was once again tilted. Luckily it only took three tries and she had the speculum where she needed. I breathed our a very large sigh of relief and awaited the swimmers. 9 million! I waited for 5 minutes, spoke to our nurse regarding further instructions and homework and headed home.
Now we wait…wait until May 24th to return to the clinic for our pregnancy test.
We love you Bear, Jackie, and Peanut!
#ourjackofhearts #angelmommy #IUI #ourkidsarewatching